Emotional Awareness

Big Feelings

Loss involves big feelings. Big feelings can make us uncomfortable. If we can normalize the idea that “hard” feelings like anger, sadness, and fear are no different from “easy” feelings like happiness, hope, and gratitude, we can make huge strides to creating a supportive environment for each other as we navigate loss.

You can model emotional awareness by using feeling words in your own emotional expression.

As Community and Youth Development Advocate Alesia K. Alexander, LCSW, CT discusses in the video above, adults tend to move away from true feeling words and default to generic terms like, “I’m tired.” Instead, try using one of the 27 emotions that make up the human experience.

Kids need to see trusted adults navigate emotions

As adults, we’re often conditioned to repress or downplay our own big feelings—and the young people in our lives notice. By trying to “be strong” and act like nothing phases us, we may inadvertently communicate to kids that their feelings should be ignored. Not only is it okay for kids to see you navigate emotions, it's an essential part of their own emotional development.

Sharing What You Know

It's important to assure the young people in your life that feelings aren't good or bad, they're just information. Practice tuning into your own emotions and normalize naming them. You don't even need to draw attention to it, just let the kids and teens in your presence experience you sharing things like, "I had a meeting today that left me feeling kind of angry and a little anxious," or "I felt sad when my friend canceled plans on me." Leading by example is a great way to assure a young person that it's okay for them to experience their own big feelings.