Young African American girl holding the hand of a woman in a hospital bed.

When Losses Compound

Understanding Loss

Certain populations—often those with marginalized identities such as BIPOC individuals and those who identify as LGBTQIA+—face a higher likelihood of loss. There are many intersecting reasons for this that are related to systemic injustice, infrastructure issues, and inequality.

Disproportionate Loss

65% of Total

View from behind a group of small children with dark hair.
Answer:

65% of children orphaned as a result of COVID are of a racial or ethnic minority.

Nearly doubled in 4 years

Trans Youth On Playground staring into camera lens
Answer:

U.S. Murders of trans people nearly doubled over past 4 years and Black trans women are most at risk.

339% Increase

Asian man in wheelchair sitting in front of laptop.
Answer:

Hate crimes against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, sparked by the COVID-19 pandemic, increased by 76% from 2019 to 2020 and another 339% from 2020 to 2021.

2x / 3x More Likely

From behind young African American girl as she looks at African American woman in hospital bed.
Answer:

Black and Brown children are 2X more likely to have a father die and 3X more likely to have a mother die compared to White children.

More Than 4x As Likely

Woman wearing black hat holding a rainbow LGBTQIA Pride flag.
Answer:

LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers.

4x Times the Rate

Teen Native American girl writing in notebook.
Answer:

Indigenous children lose caregivers at rates of nearly four times the rate of White children.

What This Means

Kids and teens from communities that face disproportionate amounts of loss and at earlier ages than their peers may appear to grieve differently than those with identities that afford more privilege Their ability to express or even acknowledge their grief over losses like changing schools or a friends moving away might be limited.

This does not mean that these losses don’t impact them, rather that their capacity to process additional grief is overwhelmed by other disruptive losses they are already experiencing. Due to the sheer amount loss kids and teens within these communities face, their minds and bodies are already maxed out on grief.

These same kids and teens may also have more difficulty accesses needed support services and other helpful resources, which can exacerbate their experience of loss.

The Myth of Apathy

In this clip from the WPSU-FM series Take Note, Dr. Tashel Bordere, assistant professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Science at the University of Missouri-Columbia, talks with WPSU’s Lindsey Whissel Fenton about harmful misconceptions around grief reactions in African American youth.

Suffocated Grief

portrait of Dr. Tashel Bordere in circle shape

Suffocated grief, a term coined by Dr. Tashel Bordere, is when a kid or teen is punished or penalized for their normal grief reactions. Suffocated grief most frequently occurs when the grieving person holds a marginalized identity (e.g., a person of color, a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, etc.). Incidentally, these youth are also at an increased risk for experiencing loss due to multiple societal factors and inequities.

Navigate through the cards below to see some examples of suffocated grief.

A kid whose mom just left on a military deployment struggles with low energy and poor coordination during soccer practice and the coach reprimands them in front of their teammates.

A student whose aunt who served as their primary caregiver just died has a hard time sitting still in class is given detention for being disruptive.

A teen whose father was recently incarcerated has a loud, emotional outburst during a synagogue service that address criminal justice and is harshly admonished by other congregants afterwards.

Sharing What You Know

Developing awareness of how loss, marginalization, and privilege intersect can increase your insight as to what a kid or teen may be experiencing. Be mindful that just because you don't observe them grieving certain losses doesn't mean they aren't feeling the impact of those losses. Let your support efforts be led by curiosity and encourage the young people in your life to do the same when interacting with their peers.

Resources for When Losses Compound

All Ages

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Cultural Sensitivity Module

Description: This video addresses the role of cultural considerations in supporting children and families in the aftermath of a death. Each culture has its own traditions, rituals, and practices when a family member dies. The overall goal is to bring a general sensitivity to the unique needs of a specific grieving child and their family in the context of their identified culture.

Source: Coalition to Support Grieving Students

colorful illustrated hands with heart shapes in their palms, extending from bottom of frame

Experience Camps: The Racial Grief Gap

Description: This section of the Experience Camp website provides information and statistic on the racial disparities related to childhood bereavement.

Source: Experience Camps

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Hetrick-Martin Institute

Description: Hetrick-Martin Institute provides free year-round programs and services for LGTBQIA+ youth and allies ages 13-24 in New York City.

Source: Hetrick-Martin

Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute Logo

Supporting Immigrant Youth Exposed to Trauma & Loss

Description: In this webinar, Dr. Priscilla Mendez, PsyD, discusses ways to support immigrant youth exposed to trauma and loss. The focus of this webinar includes a brief overview of trauma and grief and the importance of distinguishing the two constructs.

Source: Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute

WPSU Logo

Take Note: Dr. Tashel Bordere on Suffocated Grief

Description: WPSU's Lindsey Whissel Fenton interviews Dr. Tashel Bordere. | Dr. Tashel Bordere's research focuses on grief and loss among African American youth and has identified the term suffocated grief to describe when normal grief reactions among marginalized populations are not only dismissed, but punished.

Source: WPSU

Comic-book style title slide for "Multiverse of Grief" 2024 NACG National Conference presentation.

The Multiverse of Grief - 2024 National Conference and Webcast Slideshow

Description: A PDF version of the slideshow that accompanies the presentation by the same name.

Source: NACG

partial view of the cover page for a template of "My Graphic Novel, " with graphic-novel style dynamic lines and lettering.

The Multiverse of Grief - "My Graphic Novel" template

Description: During the 2024 National Conference and Webcast, presenters used the "My Graphic Novel" in an experiential presentation, demonstrating how to use "My Graphic Novel" in grief and loss support.

Source: NACG

National Alliance for Children's Grief Logo

The Multiverse of Grief - 2024 National Conference and Webcast

Description: A multicultural and expressive arts approach to being in relationship with diverse grief narratives. Hosted by Adam D-F. Stevens, MA, RDT. Presented March 19, 2024.

Source: NACG